Wanna plot? Leave me concrit? Just have some... THING you want to contact me about?
Comments screened, anon not enabled. But seriously, I like crit, so please don't let the lack of anon discourage you! You can also IM me on AIM at pyrocornflakes, or email me at rosloops at gmail dot com. AIM is the most reliable way of contacting me.
Are you all finished with the introspection yet? No? [Theatric roll of his eyes.] All of this existential musing is just... boring. Do any of you honestly think you're saying something novel, something that hasn't been said time and time again on the Barge? Goodness! It's as though you've never stolen someone else's body before! [Pause. He puts on his thinking face and taps his lips.] Wait... Or is that just me?
At least when you're traumatised, it's somewhat amusing. As it is... [He props his head up in one hand, leaning his cheek into his palm, and taps his finger on the desk, affecting a bored look.] Wake me when there's another killing spree.
[OOC: Yes, he's pretending he never turned into a round-headed five year old human :c]
[Mr. Cam Whore loves his video function, guys. There's nothing special about this broadcast. He's just sitting at his desk.]
Indulge me, if you will, in answering a little question. Think of it as, ohhhh, a very brief survey. For curiosity's sake...
Who-- on the Barge, kids-- would you most like to see crawl? You can answer in private, if you'd like. [A benevolent smile.] I swear to value your confidentiality as though I were your own doctor. [And, as usual, he puts weight and meaning into that word. Can you ever say "Doctor" like a normal person, Master? No? Oh well.]
[Allies Filter // Individual Private Messages to Each; IAGO'S SLIPPED UNDER HIS DOOR.]
Your responses count double.
Oh, and when I said "survey," I really meant... mmm... what's the term... Casting call. [GRIN.]
[OOC: HIS ALLIES FILTER NOW CONSISTS OF MORE THAN JUST IAGO. YAAAAAY. If you think your character would be on it, but aren't quite sure, just ask.]
[The Master's standing on the deck, wearing his FABULOUS coat with the nice red lining. It billows roguishly in the wind IDEK shut up. And yes, he's propped the communicator somewhere to get this GLORIOUS SHOT TO YOU because his only friend is Iago and I doubt he'd play cameraman with him. Why so lonely, Master? He adjusts his gloves and coat. Gotta look great for the camera. When he speaks, he adopts Sam Tyler's accent and demeanour, but there's more of a sinister undertone to his voice, and from time to time, he slips into the Master's way of speaking.]
Hell of a first week back, yeah? All this... shit that keeps happening. Doesn't matter who we've got on board, how all-powerful the Admiral is. He doesn't stop it; doesn't lift a finger to help us while we're dying. He could stop it-- I mean... Those of you who've been here for as long as me know that. You've seen what he's capable of.
He could do something, but he doesn't. He never, ever stops it. He sits back in his seat at the wheel... [He gestures upwards.]
from on high
, and he watches. Probably prepares a snack while he's at it. [Putting a finger to his lips, he thinks.]
Popcorn? Mmm, no... he strikes me as a bloke who likes his sweets. [He cocks his head to the side a little, giving the camera a sly little smile.]
This is the part where I'm supposed to throw my fists up and start shouting, isn't it? Talk about how unfair it is, how many innocent people suffered. Oh... [SYMPATHETIC POUT. He puts a hand to... one of his hearts.]
How it just breaks my heart.
I dunno... It's funny. These past few days. While the lot of you are weeping over your friends, your loved ones
, picking up the pieces-- shaking in righteous
fury!-- I just feel... [Shruuug.]
Rejuvinated? I had a chance to see things from a different... perspective. [He spreads his arms theatrically and looks up at the sky. There's no trace of Sam Tyler in his voice.]
the Flayed One! Inventor of war. A symbol of rebirth... [He grins at the camera, smug as ever, and gives a wink.]
Regeneration. [He holds that look with the camera, then bursts out laughing. And he lauuughs and laughs. DID YOU MISS HIM, GUYS? DID YOU? He stops, then, and after a pause, picks up the communicator, getting real close to the camera, brow furrowing in OH SO GENUINE CONCERN AND INTEREST. He adopts the Sam Tyler voice again, JUST FOR ONE LAST DIG.]
Hey, so, ah... How's that petition coming along? [Private to Iago]
Was that too much? A little overboard? [Eyebrows arched innocently.]
A touch dramatic? [He shrugs, this time in a more careless way than his exaggerrated theatrics of before.]
The Doctor was going to 'out' me, anyway. And one of the first things they teach you in politics: control the narrative. [OOC: SO, I decided that the Master was retroactively possessed. He managed a few rounds of trolling in before Xipe Totec took him over. Xipe Totec was unable to work the communicator :c Feel free to have spotted the Master running around in very little clothing, skin painted a golden yellow, with vertical red stripes running down his face. ADORNED WITH VIBRANT GREEN FEATHERS AND OTHER ACCOUTREMANTS.
And he's actually pretty pissed about being possessed. Those who know him *coughDoctorcough* are free to call his bluff.]
Buddies Allies Filter. This might be very tiny, since many of his allies are gone. In fact, it might only consist of Iago.]
[The Master's sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair as he scrolls through his communicator with a bored look on his face. He's got a webcam hooking into his communicator, hence, filming while using the device.] It never ends, does it? You could hardly believe this is a prison for the universe's most wanted.
Let's see... Whining, whining-- ooh, a bit of bloodshed, that's nice-- more whining, your standard [He makes some "talking" motions with one hand, flapping his fingers to his thumb several times.] "Hello, I'm a new warden, and I can't wait to have my spirit crushed. Cheers!" and-- what's this? [His voice raises to a shout.] Whining!
[That last word's punctuated by him tossing the communicator down onto the desk carelessly before swiveling the chair so that the back is to the camera. He drums his fingers on the arms lightly, making a thoughtful "hmm" in the back of his throat. Then, as though he's finished composing himself, he swivels it back to the camera and looks straight into it, grinning.]
Some things never change.
[OOC: I'll do an open post like, uh, TOMORROW? But he's not going to announce his presence to the Barge just yet. Time Lords are free to "sense" his presence and spam, if they'd like, but he's not going to seek any of you out at the moment.]
Wouldn't you know? I think I hate humanity even more now that I've been on the Barge for two years. Quite a tight ship you're running, Admiral. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to make the universe a more dangerous place. Bang up job you're doing, sir. [A chuckle.]
And the wardens, oh... you really are pathetic. You've saved... [He pauses, pretending to think.] hm, what. One person for every forty... fifty who pass through? Where do you think those inmates you've failed go? To 'Heaven'? Back home? They simply come here to experience a little slice of misery before returning to Death's embrace. And you could have saved them. That's the thing. Don't tell me you buy into that rubbish about how, ohh, these things just "happen." "There's nothing you could do!"
You could have saved all of them, and you didn't. Don't let anybody convince you otherwise.
Anyway. I'd love to stay around and chat, but the universe and I have an appointment.
[You can hear some clicks as he presses some buttons. HEY GUESS WHAT, GUYS. You never took the Dimension Jumper away from him.]
Have fun. I know I will.
[Tap tap tap tap. SCI FI NOISES START UP.]
Let's try to keep in touch.
[And with a cackle, the transmission cuts out. THAT'S ALL, FOLKS.]
[OOC: Yes, he escaped, no it didn't fail, I'm sure one day canon will have him pop up again, SINCE HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING MASTER. So this bridges that inevitable gap. You can respond if you want, but you won't get anything. And, since he escaped, his room will remain furnished for a few days, before blipping out. LOOT IT, IT HAS FANCY SUITS.]
[A cheetah bats its paw at the communicator a bit, trying to get the settings right to transmit a fearsome voice post, but it clicks the video on instead. Oh well. He licks his paw to groom his fur a little, then sits upright, posing all majestically. The Master is trying to keep his dignity here, damn it. Ahem. Time to make an announcement.]
[THAT'S NOT RIGHT. Fangs bared, the Master kitty tries to let out a roar, but since cheetahs can't, he just winds up hissing and batting the communicator away.]
[OOC: OKAY, SPAM UP IN HERE IF YOU WANT TO ENCOUNTER THE MASTER. Or respond to him, and you might get a voice response. If you're a fellow animal, he can talk to you like it's a Disney movie. Otherwise, you have to deal with him meowing and hissing.]
Only you, good people of the Barge, could make a world overrun by infectious disease and death so, ugh, BORING. Come on, people; get with the programme! Now, see, the Doctor, he was a real trooper. Took one for the team and gave me hours of entertainment with that little recording of his.
Mmm, and his twin certainly upped the bar. Care to one-up him? Anybody?
Oh, you lot are no fun...
[OOC: UGHH SORRY FOR THE VOICE FAIL. I just. Don't have this muse anymore.]
A closet full of hoodies, desperate need of a shave, the uncontrollable urge to smash things up and kick heads in-- oh God...
Am I some kind of football hooligan?!
[OOC: I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW, SO IDK WHY I POSTED THIS. Tags will commence when I return from partying.]
[Voice; in Gallifreyan:]
Theta? Ushas? Where are you? I'm stuck in a cage! I told you that messing around with that broken down transmat was a bad idea! Father's going to kill me if he finds out. And we have an exam tomorrow! By Rassilon's socks-- THETA! I'd better not miss my exam because of you!
[Text; IN A BUNCH OF LANGUAGES]
My name is Koschei, of the House of Oakdown, and I'm a student at the Time Lord Academy. On Gallifrey. My people will know I'm missing. If you don't release me right now,
I'll-- my father will the Time Lords--
YOU'LL BE SORRY!
[OOC: So, he's been sitting around and translating the above into as many languages as he knows, trying to figure out what his captors speak. SO FEEL FREE TO SAY HE GOT YOUR CHARACTER'S LANGUAGE even if they don't speak English,
And basically, I figure he was still in Level 0 when the flood hit. So there's a bb!Master stuck in the cells. ALSO, this is after he's got the drums/after the Doctor killed Torvic and sold the Master's life to Death, so he's STARTING TO GO CRAZY, but isn't full blown nutso yet. He's just sullen and withdrawn and likes to torment bugs.]
Citizens, rejoice. This is your Master speaking.
[He pauses, then laughs, sounding totally GIDDY AND OBNOXIOUS. The next bit is spoken as though he'd just answered a collective question from the audience.]
I know! Two broadcasts in under a week? What is this, Christmas come early?
To answer your question, citizens: yes. It is. What with this nasty business of the Barge, we all must do our share to keep spirits high. And between the plays and the arena sports, it has become evident that even I, your Master, must roll my sleeves up and pitch in.
And that is why, after Saturday's glorious play winds down, I'm going to be putting together a little show of my own, broadcast across the planet, to send a strong and lasting message to all my people. Our special guests will be particularly interested in what I have planned for the evening.
Now, let us have a moment of silence for those who've fallen since the Barge invaded our happy home. Twenty innocent mutants killed in the crash, one officer brutally murdered by the intruders, and another gone missing, presumed dead, thanks to the Resistance. So, spare sixty seconds to lend a thought to the deceased. And remember, kids, [Big old grin here] we're watching.
[Private to Angelica]
You've no doubt heard the news by now.
[SPAM FOR JACK AND A GOON. I need a goon. Goon it up in here.]
[With that speech done, it was time to head on down to the SPECIAL DUNGEONS to visit his dear friend Captain Jack.]
[OOC: OH YEAH and the 'missing officer' he's blaming on the Resistance? JACK.]
[To Top Government Bitches. And not Judas.]
[SUP DUDES. Have a video of your angry overlord. There's a dead aide in his office, 'cause lol he killed him with his laser screwdriver/TCE/whatever wacky weapon he's built for himself once he saw Davros's announcement.]
You incompetent, stunted, USELESS little primates! I gave you orders, I gave you simple objectives, and you've fulfilled NONE of them! Despite EVERY advantage, the Barge hasn't been conquered, and public enemy number one? Has just made a public announcement undermining my authority!
TAKE THE BARGE. FIND DAVROS AND KILL HIM, NOW! And if you have to reduce the Outlands to glass and its inhabitants to dust, then so be it!
I want him dead, or I'll kill you and yours personally!
[And he aims his weapon at the camera and KILLLLLS IT.]
[OOC: Also, guys, just a quick reminder. The Master's not an NPC. He's a character-- specifically, for the purposes of TLV, my character. Please stop making assumptions about him, his security, and how he runs things within his direct sphere of influence, and then playing them out in game without at least running it by me first. It's leading to unintentional godmodding of his competency, and it's getting really frustrating as his player. I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but I can only catch things before they happen so many times.]
[All Networks. All TVs. All Radios. EVERYTHING.][On anything with a video capacity, an image flickers on screen abruptly, interrupting whatever it would've been that you're watching/reading. For all other communication devices, either voice or a transcript of the following interrupts you.
The Master is standing in a cushy, classy looking room, fully suited and NO LONGER LOOKING HOMELESS. In fact, those who knew him before he lost his
mind memory will recognize this as his standard look. Along with him is Iago and Judas. The Master gives a crooked, wicked smile, and when he speaks, his voice is full of affected benevolence.]
. This is your lord and Master speaking. And of course, you no doubt recognise our esteemed
General Iago. [He motions GRANDLY at his buddy.]
And... [MUCH LESS GRANDLY, he just sort of waves a dismissive hand at the apostle.]
Judas.[Resuming his former demeanour now. All smiles and smarm.]
It appears we now have some long-expected visitors
, citizens, and they come bearing a gift-- a... tribute
-- for their Master.
Allow me to be the first to extend a warm
welcome to the Admiral and his passengers. It was so thoughtful of you to drop a Barge right outside of the city. A little big
, of course, so I'm not quite sure how to get it through the front door... Hm. [A thoughtful pause, then a shrug.]
Nevertheless, I'm sure
my army will have no problems retrieving it. [He drops the smarm now and becomes much more serious, clasping his hands together in front of him as he adopts a sharper tone.]
Now. Citizens. We can't have a group of strangers
wandering our fair streets, putting our children in danger. It would be in your best
interests to keep your eyes open for the following:[On the screen now, one by one, images of Barge folks flash on the screen for a second or two at a time. This would only be people who were on the Barge before he escaped several days ago, and-- unbeknownst to him-- people who are now part of Masterworld were deleted from the system he'd prepared, so their images won't show. There's a number associated with each name; that's the financial reward for turning each person in. Some are higher than others, depending on how much of a threat he perceives them to be, LIKE THE DOCTOR. Once this is finished, the image cuts back to the Master and co.]
Do be good citizens and alert your local authorities should you encounter any of these individuals. You'll be rewarded quite
handsomely for their capture.
And as for you
, passengers of the Barge, well... [He chuckles.]
I'm willing to offer you an opportunity to join
me, provided you make an exchange for your freedom. Think on it.[He holds up an admonishing finger now.]
Ah, ah, ahhh. And don't think I've forgotten about your little gifts
. I've arranged for a little surprise for those of you who believe they can topple my empire with magic
and divine intervention. Wait for it... it's gonna be great
. [The one finger becomes three, and he begins to count down.]
One...[YOU'LL NOW NOTICE YOUR POWERS HAVE BEEN BITCHSLAPPED.]
Welcome to my empire. Your new
home. I trust you'll enjoy your stay as much as I
will.[With a FAMILIAR VILLAINOUS LAUGH, he cuts the transmission.]
[OOC: ONE THING I FORGOT HURRRR. The Master has a private line. You CAN make things private to him, annnnd only him.]
Are the vampires still staaaarving? Too bad. Guess the Admiral doesn't like you... Or, perhaps, humans, it's you he doesn't like.
Food for thought, as they say.
Now, survey time! If you could be anywhere else right now, my fellow shipmates, where would you go? Come onnnn, I know you all dream of the day you can run away from this madness.
[OOC: He finished his dimension jumper and is now BIDING HIS TIME TO USE IT. And yeah, that's why he's asking you all where you'd go. FORESHADOWING. Or some shit.]
[The Master's chilling on the deck, big HAPPY smile on his face.]
Ah, tales of a murder! Just what I needed to lift my spirits! You people-- you wonderful, beautiful people-- do know how to make one feel right at home here.
[Pause. He's sipping something. A FRUITY, NONALCOHOLIC DAIQUIRI, because lol, he got no alcohol]
Really. This place isn't so bad. I'm surrounded by familiar company, on a Barge that can go anywhere, with a spectacular view, and-- oh! Hey! I think I can see the Cleolateral Configuration from here. Marvellous... simply marvellous...
[With that happy sigh, he leans back in his lawn chair and enjoys his drink. DON'T ASK WHERE HE GOT IT FROM, OKAY. THE BARGE PROVIDES. Also, he's wearing like, a Hawaiian shirt and khakis.]
[OOC: FEEL FREE TO SPAM HIM UP IN HERE.]
You know, Captain, when I held you prisoner, I at least devised some games for us to play. A week locked away in a cell? This is rather uninspired. I'd be insulted if I expected anything better from you.
[Private to Aziraphale]
Mm... hmmm... I think this body's broken. I demand a refund.
[OOC: Locked up for trying to steal the Fourth Doctor's Time Lord essence. THAT IS ALL. ALSO: if he's not out by the time the pollen plot starts, I say we just say McCoy like... went to give him a checkup and it spread to him that way. THE END.]